Angels in Uniforms Unaware (Handfuls of Purpose revisited)

Michelle showed up for church-in-the-park yesterday. (I woke up this morning with her heavy on my heart. Had to pray for her. Had to weep). The others seemed to know her but I do not remember ever having seen her before. It is easy to notice the women who show up because there are always so few of them. Statistics say homeless men outnumber homeless women 10:1 here.
I should have taken a photo of Michelle and plastered it here. I should have. I didn't. If I see her again I will. You need to get her face in your heart.
I met her as she moved through the line. I didn't notice her sitting during service. She might have been out on the grassy area then. Not sure. She just showed up on the line and she was quite out of it. I thought maybe heroine cause she kept nodding, plate tilting, kind of stumbling along. She wasn't at all out of order, not loud, and quite polite. I lost sight of her after that.
It wasn't until we were leaving that she came into the picture again.
I looked around for Jimmy because I noticed his guitar was by me but he wasn't. I spotted him out a ways talking with an officer. The police patrol the park on a regular basis. They know we are there every Friday and they are all for us so we are used to them showing up. It is not unusual for Jimmy to be hanging with them and talking so I walked over to them with Jimmy's guitar in hand.
I heard the officer ask how Michelle was doing today. I heard Jimmy say that she wasn't doing to owell today. Then came the story:
He noticed her there today and stopped by to make sure she was alright. She has cancer and is dying. If she wants to spend her last days drinking that is okay with him (officer), he understands. He is just concerned that if she lingers in the park after we are gone that she might get stopped for public drunkeness and bothered with being patted down and the whole process of being fined or jailed. Could we please see to it that her friends take care of her and make sure she leaves the park with them so that she can be safe. He cares about her being okay. He would appreciate our help.
Jimmy and I said we would make sure and we did.
Michelle asked me to pray for her, something about surgery on her hand coming up. I asked her if she would like me to pray for her right now. She said no, just when I think of her this week. I promised I would.
Her picture should be here. The officer's face should be here to.
Her eyes say she is lost.
His eyes say she is loved.
I wish you could see what I saw.
I wish ...
God loves Michelle a lot.
He has angels out there watching out for her.
I don't even think that officer was aware of the part he is playing in this stuff of the Kingdom of God.
His hands were full of purpose that morning.
I have to believe there is a plan in the works for Michelle's salvation and well being.
Pray...

While I'm on the subject...

Richard has been working on my small porch area. I got tired of the Bermuda grass from the common area creeping into the planter and taking over...got tired of pulling up grass from between the bricks that cover the floor.

I used to enjoy planting and tending. I don't anymore. Can't say why and I don't think its much more than just not having time anymore. But my life is good and filled with God stuff.

I digress. Richard pulled up an amazingly cool tree. I asked him to. It was going to die. It wasn't getting the sun it needed because the pine trees on the property were overshadowing it. It stopped producing berries and buds about a year ago. I loved how it bowed over the walkway. I digress again. Richard chopped it down for me and left this huge root for me to check out before he threw it out.

At one time there was a sprinkler system watering this tree. The tree grew around it and swallowed it up. Once again I see the strength and tenacity of life to go on. Once again I am sure that most would comment on the ruined sprinkler system while I stand and marvel at the determination of life to continue regardless, in spite of what is in its way.

Nothing could hold Jesus in the grave. Life can not be quenched, ever.

God's purposes will prevail.

Ah, He is so in control. He is so completely in control.

The sprinkler system didn't have a chance.

There is probably more to this story...I can feel it. Maybe later.

and the times, they are a changin'...

It's just about that time of year again...when sprouting life pushes through the asphalt of the church parking lot. A year ago I wrote about brokenness being life forcing its way through our man made crustiness. We call parking lots in that condition 'broken', in terrible shape, a disgrace. I wonder why we can't look at a parking lot in this condition and call it a wonder. Why cant we call it a marvel because, once again, it proves that life pretty much works its way out no matter what has been trying to hold it down.
I say this hoping I will come to an understanding, a settling, a confidence in the fact that God is not going to be held down by my neediness to keep things as they are.

Change is inevitable and I am amazed at His timing.

He is absolutely in control.

And I am quite aware that I am not so dependant on things staying the same as I once was. I have come to the realization that it is in the changes and upheavals that I find God quite constant and steady.

Cant explain right now what is going on but I can tell you, after initial shock wears off, there is an excitement swelling up inside me....

Holy Spirit stuff is happening.

I am not going to miss out on it.

I will stay still and watch and listen.

God is on the move...can you sense it?

Reflections

A year ago I posted on giving as an act of worship and I know this because I just happened to be reading the same passage this morning that caused me to think about this...

and now more than ever I find it most meaningful to be reading this. Deuteronomy 26 is the passage I am talking about.

They are about to enter the Promised Land, about ready to cross the Jordan. God is giving them their marching orders, how they are to conduct themselves as they cross, and as they live in the new land.

He gives a detailed instruction on what they should offer Him and how. It is the how that struck me a year ago. It strikes me again. Some lessons should never be forgotten.
As I bring my offerings, and in this passage it definitely involves money, well, produce then which translates into currency today unless a farmer is reading this. I have to be real here. This is not a chapter on singing songs, or donating our unwanted items, or anything like that. It comes down to money, our hard earned, never enough money.

As I bring my offerings, I am to recite, out loud, the history of God rescuing me from enemies, keeping me safe and sane, prospering me, saving me, and I should declare to Him what I am bringing to His table and that I have not used this offering, or any part of this offering for myself.

AND, I should be happy.

I can tell you, I rejoice over every offering...and have for the past 6 years. I rejoiced when I struggled to be faithful to this, and I rejoice that I can look back and say I have not lacked any good thing because of my giving.

BUT I mention all this to say that I have not been posting as much as I would like...

and I think I owe it all to my desire to live out my Jesus Life outside the walls of the church. Never did I realize it would consume me as it is.

There is much to do out there, people are wondering, longing, and starting to seek out what the Truth really is.

They are everywhere, these hungry ones, and hardly a day goes by that I do not have something to write about but fall asleep before it gets done.

I want to tell you all about it all...and I will. But not right now.

I am getting things ready for our outreach today at HV. About 30 kids will be there. And lately, some of the moms have been staying as well. We have been doing this for just past a year now. Once a month, on a Saturday, we set up in the apartment manager's reception area, make a mess with the kids, get in a quick object lesson, clean up and resume life. I love it.

We are gearing up for our big Spring Outreach the day before Resurrection Sunday. I will tell you all about it.

It is good to be outside the walls...and even greater to go back in every Sunday and celebrate with everyone what God is doing out there...

Amazing Grace...

Someday I might just figure out why I had to live out a few things this past week. One of them was a polygraph test for a job. Never done that before...never will again.

It has bothered me more than I thought it would. Not telling the truth, that didn't bother me, but telling the truth about stuff under the Blood, and feeling guilty and condemned and ashamed all over again...it knocked the wind right out of me. Maybe it should have. Maybe we forget all too soon what pit we have been rescued from.

Now I do not recommend dwelling on where we all came from. Talk about guaranteed despair! But it would be wise to do an inventory once in a great while and remind ourselves how wretched we are without Jesus. How wretched indeed. I remembered and talked about things I have never spoken out loud. Horrible! Awful! Disgusting!

My God is not surprised. He knows what I was. He knows what He has wrought in me. While the experience of talking to a stranger about my past was so very difficult it brought me to a new knowledge of "Amazing Grace". His grace over me is amazing, nothing short of a miracle. Stepping out of the building and into the sunshine brought me to tears. I was undone. Wretched, poor, blind, miserable, naked, UNDONE.

Which only proves to me that I had started to think way too much of myself.

I would not want to relive that polygraph ever, but I did realize how out of perspective my life had become.

I am no different than anyone else. As a matter of fact I can state honestly that I am worse than many. But God has done a great thing. God is working in me both to will and to do His good pleasure. He who began a good work in me is completing it and will continue to do so until Jesus comes.

I am a little sick in my stomach still. Embarrassed about a past that is redeemed.

It is good to be one of His, paid for, bought, saved, secure, it is good...

...Amazing grace

how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now am found
Was blind but now I see...