Worship so far...

I found Jesus in Las Vegas. I knew about Him, I had seen my friends change as they gave their lives to Him during the Jesus Movement in the late 60's and early 70's. I knew He was real, but I never imagined He would want anything to do with the likes of me. I didn't fit into the 'good girl' category.
I ended up in Vegas, that was in '73. After many more bad decisions and dangerous escapades I found Jesus. Funny, He was there, waiting for me. I had come to the end of myself. There were no more things to try, nothing more to do. Everything had failed. Praise God!
But I digress...Here I was, a Brooklyn girl out west, totally passionate about Jesus and a friend drove me out of town to a small church. When we walked through the doors I heard the singing, all these people with their hands raised, singing in the Spirit with the most melodious harmonies. Pastor and a few others were up on the platform with their acoustic guitars. You couldn't hear them. It wasn't about them. The whole church was the choir and the gentleness, the harmonies, the languages, filled my senses and I wept. I had never experienced anything like that ever. My friend led us to a seat. Everyone stood around me. I was overwhelmed with the Presence of God, the gentleness of His Spirit, I recognized it immediately and in my heart I knew I was home. I had never felt at home anywhere up until that point.
That was in June of 1978. I had given my life to the Lord that March, March 9th to be exact. I was baptized in the jacuzzi in the apartments where I lived.
Worship, what is it? It has something to do with music for sure. It was the musicians who went out first when Israel was sent by the Lord to go in and take the land the He had given them. It is service. It is the one ministry that ministers not to the body, though we are affected by it, but it is a ministry wholly unto the Lord. We minister to Him when we worship.
Scripture says that God inhabits the praises of His people. So it is during worship I find myself face to face with the living God. It is here that I hear Him talking to me, showing me what He needs me to see. It is here, in His Presence, that I am safe, and in great health, and right.
Worship is the outward expression of my love for God. My obedience to Him, my service to Him and to others at His Command. Worship is what pours out of me when I lift my voice to Him with the greatest joy, or the deepest sorrow. As I sing and play I know it is because He is Who He is. It has nothing to do with what I want Him to do for me. It has nothing to do with the way I may be feeling. He is God, He changes not and if He never did another thing, He has done more than we ever deserved anyway. He is magnificent, faithful, kind, generous, powerful, and He has decided to allow me to benefit from all this. Worship happens when I reach beyond what I know I am capable of because God is calling me to do it and find a way to trust Him when all of me wants to be scared, or unsure, or just not getting it at all.
It is all about Him, this worship thing. It is Ruth laying at the feet of Boaz, it is David pouring out the drink his men risked their lives to bring to him, it is Joseph silently being wrongfully accused, the woman who washed Jesus' feet with her tears,etc. It is the Psalmists singing, clapping, playing instruments and telling of the great things of God. it is Moses holding his hands in the air so that the Israelites could win, his hands get weary and Israel begin to lose the battle. Aaron and Hur come alongside him and help him do what God commanded him to do by holding up his hands for him. Worship. it is my whole life laid bare before Him, with the understanding that
'I am not my own, I was bought with a price
I am purchased with the precious Blood of Jesus Christ
All my debt's been paid by His sacrifice
Hallelujah to the Lamb who redeems my life.'

And not being my own, I must, in every thing, look to Him for direction, guidance, consent, validation, worth, satisfaction, courage, strength, patience, endurance, everything.That I know to do this is worhip for it reveals what I think abbout Him. If I can't trust Him, if He is not my Lord, if I don't look to Him for my very life, I am not a worshiper.

As I go now to the Park and have church with the homeless ones, or to the projects to do a craft with the kids, or try to help a young mom get her baby's paperwork in order, I worship and it is worship because I would never have thought to do any of this without the leading of my God. It is not in me to venture in to dangerous places and build relationships. I am more comfortable alone. But that being the case, He is showing me that what good is a great worship song if it is being sung by me if I am in the same breath refusing to go where He wants me to go and do what He wants me to do. Listen,
The worshippers who lead the battles in Israel would have accomplished nothing if they had built a platform and performed greatly. As they sang and made their music they MARCHED IN FRONT of the ones who would do the battle. They were on the front lines of service.
I will sing always, it is what I do best when it comes to expressing myself. But I tell ya, it is not enough for me anymore. I must also march...